I'll Hold Onto You Forever
by Marie S Zachary
Summary: Tori is going through a horrible time and she feels like things are helpless.  In her unbearable emotional agony she says the 'taboo' thing and she realizes that she's falling but her boyfriend Andre who is the best of the best refuses to let her fall
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Victorous. Just the idea

* * *

><p>It was a freezing cold day in the mountains. Tori and Andre had gone up to the mountains to go skiing for the day. Tori loved it Andre and her never actually did any skiing; opting instead to sit in the inn and drink hot coco but this time she really needed it really badly. She had been going through a really rough month.<p>

"Tori," Andre asked, "Are you okay honey?"

"Um... I had a really rough month," she said.

Andre put a hand on her knee and leaned forward to kiss her.

"Talk to me," he said

"Okay," she said, "Well I guess it started a while back. Trina had been driving me **up a wall **with her 'bet' that she made. I just had it up to here"

She held up her hand as high as it could go

_"TRINA," Tori yelled, "ENOUGH ALREADY. I AM NOT GOING TO BE YOUR 'ASSISTANT' FOR ANOTHER SECOND. YOU ARE DRIVING ME UP A DANG WALL"_

_"You promised," Trina whined._

_"Really," Tori said, "Because **I **didn't make that contract. It's **your handwriting **and you even spelled Trina wrong"_

_"I did not," Trina said realizing a second too late what she had done_

_"So you admit it," Tori said, "and I'm telling mom and dad"  
>"If you tell mom and dad," Trina said, "I'll tell your boyfriend you gave me a reality check"<br>"HE KNOWS," Tori said dragging out the word knows._

Andre actually didn't know but Trina didn't know he didn't know

_"If you tell mom and dad I'll hate you," Trina said, "and I'll never talk to you again."_

_"Promise," Tori asked._

"She still hasn't forgiven me for telling mom and dad and she doesn't shut up about it. She has tried to get me in trouble so many times in the past month I lost count. I swear that I could strangle her."

"Yeah that does sound rough," he said sympathetically, "But it could be worse."

"You don't know the half of it," Tori said, "It's only the beginning"

"By the way," Andre asked, "You gave Trina a reality check?"

"Yes," Tori said, "I **had **to. She was really out of control"

He smiled.

"Good for you," he said, "so what happened next?"

"Well the next day was Monday. I wasn't feeling well so I decided that I was going to leave school a little early"

"I remember that," Andre said.

"Well what you don't know was that I started feeling better so I decided I would had to the movie theater. Beck happened to have seen me at the movie theater and he got mad at me because I-"

"Because you were at that movie theater," Andre interrupted, "Yeah I know all about that and I had it out with him for the way he acted to you. I don't know what it is with him and that movie theater"

"Thank you for making me feel better by the way," Tori told him

"You don't need to thank me for that," he said, "I love you and I will be there for you any time. I will always love you"

_I hope so_, she thought to herself.

He was the best of the best and he didn't know the whole story.

"Well anyway," Tori said, "The next day Jade was in her typical BITCHY mood and let me tell you. When she's in a bitchy mood it's scary."

_"I don't know what you're mad at me for," Tori said, "I didn't cause this to happen to you. I wasn't the one that-"_

_"Oh so it wasn't you that revenge kissed my boyfriend-"_

_"I didn't do it for revenge," Tori said, "K is a hard letter to come up with the response to. What was I supposed to say. Kill me?"_

_"I'd be okay with that," Jade said, "You called me a bitch yesterday!"_

_"Because you acted like one," Tori said, "Or did you forget."_

_"I did not," Jade said, "I didn't even put that poster up."_

_"Come on," Tori said, "Your name was on the poster."_

_"Vega you know that thing in between your ears that looks like spaghetti? IT'S CALLED YOUR BRAIN. Use it!"_

_"Excuse me? What in the name of nuts and bananas is that supposed to mean?"_

_"You're nuts and bananas," Jade said, "Vega do you really think if I were to put that poster up I would **sign my name on it**? Furthermore if I were going to do something like that I would **not **ever in a million years do it like that. I would film what happened and post it all over the Internet but you're my friend so I wouldn't embarrass you. But Beck got mad at me for something I didn't even do."_

_"Back up," Tori said, "I'm you're friend?"_

_"Sadly," Jade replied, "Yes you are."_

"Well the queen of mean admitted you were her friend," Andre said, "That was pretty good"

"It was surprising," Tori said, "But the day went from eh to bad really quick. I found out that my best friend from elementary school died in a car accident."

Andre shuttered remembering how sad Tori was when that happened. Things would get worse before long.


	2. Chapter 2

"It was around that time," Tori said, "that Trina became spoiled and selfish"

"When **isn't **Trina spoiled and selfish," Andre asked.

_"Tori," Andre said trying to comfort her, "It's okay baby"_

_"It is **not **okay," Tori said, "She's dead! She was my best friend from childhood and she's dead"_

... _A few hours after Andre left_

_"Hey Tori," Trina emerged from the bathroom, "when you're done feeling sorry for yourself I need to borrow your car"_

_"TRINA," Tori yelled, "ARE YOU REALLY THAT DETACHED FROM REALITY?"_

_"What's your problem," Trina asked_

_"WHAT IS MY PROBLEM? WHAT IS MY PROBLEM? WHAT IS MY- MY PROBLEM TRINA IS THAT YOU ARE A SELFISH BRAT WHO THINKS OF NOTHING BUT HER OWN WANTS AND NEEDS AND DESIRES. MY FRIEND IS DEAD. YOU KNOW HOW CLOSE I WAS TO KAYLA. SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND AND YOU TELL ME I'M FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF AND NOW YOU ASK ME WHAT MY PROBLEM IS!"_

_"Well you haven't seen her in a long time," Trina pointed out, "and you got me in trouble with mom and dad by telling them what I did so honestly I don't feel sorry for you"_

"That was when I made my first mistake. I spoke without thinking. I was just so angry. That would be my first time of two and this was the least bad. It was a train wreck as Dr. Phil would say but I really blew it with the second one"

_"YOU KNOW WHAT," Tori yelled angrily, "I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR SELFISH WAYS. YOU'RE LOW AND THOUGHTLESS. I'M DONE WITH IT TRINA. WE'RE NO LONGER SISTERS"_

"I stormed into my room locked the door and cried for hours. That was when I called you and ranted to you. I'm sorry for keeping you up till 4 in the morning by the way"

Andre cupped Tori's chin with his hand.

"You have nothing to apologize for Tori," Andre said, "I love you and I love talking to you"

"But... look I might as well tell you this. I said the taboo thing the next day"

Andre looked at her for a second with a mixture of concern and amusement on his face.

"Tori listen to me and listen to me good. I don't care **what **you say. I don't care **what **you do and I don't care **why **you do it. You could lie. You could cheat. You could steal. You could break all 10 commandments plus one and I would still love you. I would never stop loving you and I would never let go of you. You are my girlfriend. You are the one that completes me. You're like my breath and my heart and my soul. You're the air in my lungs. You're my heaven."

"Well right now I feel like my life is..."

"A living hell," Andre said, "I know. Right now it is but it's going to get better sweetie. It's not fair that this happened to you. I'm not going to pretend it is fair. I'm not going to pretend it is right. It's not right. It's wrong. It's not fair that this is happening to you. If it were up to me this would never happen to you babe. I love you and I hate that you're suffering. Your hurt is my hurt. Your pain is my pain. It's like reliving the worst day of my life ever seeing you suffering like that. You're my girl. You're the girl I love. I will never abandon you"

"Now," Tori said, "But what are you going to see when it's clear that I'm covered in emotional garbage?"

"Do you think that's something I don't know," he asked.

"You always said I was special"

"You are. You think **I **don't have emotional garbage?"

"But you're the best of the best," Tori said.

"Please," Andre said, "I've fucked up plenty of times."

Tori couldn't help laughing.

"Did you seriously just say a no-no word?"

"A NO-NO word," he teased seeing that it was making her laugh, "Yeah I guess I did say a no-no word"

"When are things going to get better," Tori asked quietly.

"This instinct if I have anything to say about it," Andre said running his fingers through her hair.

She felt an enormous sense of relief.

"I'm so sorry I messed up like that," Tori said

_"Ugh," Tori said on the phone to Andre, "Why do things have to be complicated."_

_Andre laughed slightly_

_"Rough day huh?"_

_"Trina is so damn selfish," Tori said, "She is only thinking of herself. She actually accused me of feeling sorry for myself. Well forgive me for grieving the loss of my friend!"_

_"There's nothing to forgive," Andre said, "That's perfectly normal to grieve the loss of a person you love. Heck if you **didn't **grieve I would be worried."_

_"Thanks Andre," Tori said, "And by the way thanks for making me feel better yesterday"_

_"Any time," he said, "I love you Tori"_

_"I love you too," she told him._

_He yawned. _

_"Are you going to be okay," he asked_

_"I think so," Tori said_

_The next day Trina threw mean glares at Tori all through breakfast._

_"Trina," their father said, "Stop glaring at your sister"_

_"She's not my sister," Trina said, "She even said so"_

_"I was angry," Tori replied._

_"Okay," their mother said, "What's going on"_

_Tori and Trina both started talking at once._

_"One at a time," the father said, "Tori why don't you go first"_

_"Trina is so selfish," Tori said, "She won't let up on me"_

_"I DON'T LET UP ON YOU," Trina yelled, "You call me on everything I say that's invalid"_

_"Like what," Tori asked_

_"When I said I was making dinner for my boyfriend on the slap page you said, 'you don't have a boyfriend and you're sitting on the couch with me watching a movie.' You do that all the time."_

_"That's no excuse for what you did yesterday! Trina my best friend from grade school died and you're acting like it's a pet gerbil or something. You actually said I was feeling sorry for myself"_

_"TRINA," their mother and father exclaimed at the same time._

_"Well it's her fault that I got in trouble for the fake contract I wrote," Trina said._

_"No that's **your **fault," their dad replied, "You chose to do that. You chose to take advantage of your sister."_

_"But she's my little sister," Trina said, "She's supposed to do what I say"_

_"Trina you're supposed to be her friend," their dad said, "her protector not her tormenter"_

_"She doesn't even want me to be her sister anymore"_

_"OF COURSE I DO," Tori said angrily._

_"Then why did you say that we're not sisters anymore"_

_"Because," Tori said, "You said and I quote, "when you're done feeling sorry for yourself I need the car"_

_"Well I did need the car," Trina said_

_"That doesn't matter," their mom said, "You didn't need to say 'when you're done feeling sorry for yourself' and you're not supposed to be using the car anyway"_

_"SO I'M THE LEAST LOVED ONE IN THE FAMILY," Trina yelled, "POOR TORI LOST HER FRIEND. WHAT ABOUT ME? I HAD A HAIR APOINTMENT"_

_"Tori had a rough few days," their father said, "and yes your hair appointment takes a backseat to Tori's grief and pain just like if you were in her shoes Tori's stuff would take a backseat to your grief and pain. You know sometimes growing up is about accepting the fact that you can't always come first and the world doesn't revolve around you."_

_"She's not hurting anymore," Trina said_

_"How do you know," Tori asked, "are you me?"_

_"Oh come on," Trina said, "That happened like so long ago."_

_"It happened the day before yesterday," Tori said, "and it shouldn't have happened"_

_"The point is you're not supposed to feel like that after a couple of minutes" Trina said, "and losing your friend happened a full 24 hours ago and you haven't even seen her in person in years... since we moved."_

_"Trina," their father said, "I think you need to apologize to your sister"_

_He said it in a tone that made it clear it wasn't a suggestion._

_..._

Meanwhile back in Hollywood Jade and Beck went to get coffee at Starbucks. Jade was really quiet.

"Beck," she said finally, "Why did you time me out the other day?"

"That was random," he said, "But since you asked you called Tori stupid"

"I was talking about myself," Jade said, "If I was talking about Tori I would say it out loud and not mumble it"

Beck got concerned.

"Why would you call yourself stupid," he asked.

Jade sighed.

"I'm failing science and math," she said, "If I don't ace my final I'll have to repeat Junior year which means we won't graduate together"

****"So I'll help you study," he told her

"It's not like that. It's a project and I can't do it"

"Well we can do it together," he said, "I don't like you putting yourself down so that's not okay either"

"Well was it okay that you got mad at me for something I didn't do," Jade asked.

"No that was definitely wrong of me and believe me I'm going to make it up to you"

"Okay," she said

"But why do you hate Tori," Beck asked

"I don't," Jade said, "I hate your 'no being together until you're nice to Tori' rule that you made last month and the fact that you're always assuming that I'm wrong and she's right but I don't hate Vega at all"

_"Jade," Beck said a month ago, "Why don't you just make up with Tori already"_

_"I'll apologize to Vega when she apologize to me," Jade said angrily_

_"What do I have to apologize for," Tori asked._

_"For antagonizing me," Jade said, "If you didn't find this so amusing..."_

_"Okay babe calm down," Beck said putting a hand on her shoulder soothingly_

_"Calm down? I'm going nuts here. You always think it's my fault."_

_"You did insult me," Tori said_

_"That's not the point," Jade replied, "The point is that you find all of this funny. You were laughing at my pain"_

_"I was not," Tori said, "Okay maybe I thought it was justified but-"_

_"Justified? How is that justified?"_

_"It's just... you know-"_

_"NO VEGA IT'S NOT," Jade yelled, "BECK IS LIKE MY LIFELINE. NOT ALL OF US CAN HAVE LIVES THAT ARE SO PERFECT AS YOURS ARE AND MY LIFE SUCKS!"_

_"My life isn't perfect Jade. I have an annoying older sister and I had a rough day yesterday"_

_"Oh boo hoo," Jade said, "I had a rough day today!"_

_"Okay," Tori said, "I'm sorry"_

_"Fine," Jade replied, "I accept your apology"_

_"I'm sorry too Jade," Beck said, "I didn't realize that it was so much deeper then just... that"_

"But you have to admit," Beck said, "When you don't do something for awhile it makes it more special"

Jade paused and considered that.

"You have a point there," she said, "but sometimes difficult times aren't all over just because it ends"

"No that's true," he said, "but as it ends and the hurt fades away you're left with a warm and positive glow that you hope **never **goes away."

Jade paused again thinking about that.

"I just wish that could happen without the hurt," she said laughing without humor

...

Back in the inn Andre had ordered more coco for Tori.

"We'll have lunch later," he promised her.

"Andre how can you still love me," Tori asked, "I messed up"

"Let me let you in on a little secret," he said leaning forward and whispering in her ear, "You're not the only one. Everyone messes up **including **me"

"But you're the best of the best," Tori said

"And that doesn't mean that I've never messed up," Andre said, "I had to learn and grow"

"But I said the taboo thing," Tori said

"Two words. Who cares? You know that it wasn't right. The wrong thing is never the right thing to do otherwise it would be called the right thing instead of the wrong thing"

"But you once said-"

"I wasn't referring to someone who loses their cool after going through everything you've been through and explodes. It happens Tori. I was referring to people who were mean and cruel and heartless and cold and who really doesn't even care anymore. It is different with someone like you"


End file.
